i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

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What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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darude- sandstorm

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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Wright flyer

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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