What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

Obama lin Baden.

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

Two women were sitting quietly.

what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

You know what's catchy? A cold

Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

An Englishman walks into a bar.

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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