What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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Send "What Makes You Beautiful" Ringtone to your CellShowHideSong Notes - Go behind the words! You're insecure, don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or Don't need make-up - to cover up Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed the way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! If only you saw what I could see you'd understand why I want you so desperatley Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! Read more: ONE DIRECTION - WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-makes-you-beautiful-lyrics-one-direction.html#ixzz1sJdk3KHD Copied from MetroLyrics.com

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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