Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops