What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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