69

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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