Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Facebook How i met my mother

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Where's the soap?

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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The Female Orgasm

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops