Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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