What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops