What is three times more dangerous than war? Three wars.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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sharks

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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Three Black men smash windows to enter a house. They're firemen and are rescuing a young child...

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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dassa

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops