Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

denisssssssssssssss

Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

whats white and sticky glue

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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