What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

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I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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Why did the black man go to KFC? Ever since the economic downfall Kentucky Fried Chicken is the only remaining food dispensary in a 5 miles radius.......and hes black

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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