What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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Your mums a potato

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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Nickelback.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

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What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops