Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

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What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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