Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

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Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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guest what i love pancakes

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Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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What happens when a black person brakes his neck? He gets a neck brace just like anyone else.

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YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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