I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

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When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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