Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die? Madelyns head

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Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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