It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

David Cameron

What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

Knock, Knock. Come in!

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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