How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I was Born ready I was born naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +16

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops