What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

shut up kobe!

What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...