Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

Whats the difference between a horse and a snake? A snake is poisons, a horse is not.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

What is the difference between a black man and a Chevrolet? They didn't sell Chevrolets in the 1800s.

What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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