Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a woman leaves the kitchen.......

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

thumb_up thumb_down +11

1

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops