You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and red all over? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the car cross the road? Green light

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

thumb_up thumb_down -12

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Jew! Bless you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops