Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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SHINEE IS BACK PART HARD

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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Womens' Rights

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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