how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wanna see some more?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Penisland

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down -13

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when a black man falls out of a tree? He gets hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a 100 dead babies and a ferrari? One is an automobile and the other is a tragic reminder that SIDS is a serious and deadly problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops