What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is black.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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TWATFROST HOLOCOSTME sOME MONEY TO GET A BOOB JOB HAHAHAHA BALOWJOB

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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