- Anti Joke

Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

No.

What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

Scott Gomez

What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

The awkward moment when you have cancer.

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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