I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

wtf the enter the following thingie says I am here

What's 4+7 47

So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

Turn around.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...