What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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Tommy got hit by a truck Knock knock Whos there Not tommy

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats worse then getting caught in the rain with no umbrella? Aids.

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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A woman comes at the doctor.

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e4ryka mcgyuire rode stephanie sinnott

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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