What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

What is the difference between a duck?

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

Matt is not funny.

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

how do you fall off a building? you trip.

no

Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

Hope you all drop the soap in prison

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

fart+fart=poop

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

Shut the cork up!

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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