*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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Women.

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Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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what happens during a climax apples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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