A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Oh, I must be hearing things.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops