My name is never spelt right so its all good

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

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DOWN

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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