Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

wnba

A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

mc hammers income.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Society has given up on chairs that spin.

What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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