How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

thumb_up thumb_down

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops