A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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