Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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