There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops