A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the boy fall off the swing?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

thumb_up thumb_down -30

josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops