Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

I put my baby in a microwave.

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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