What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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