My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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