Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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