Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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you will like this because i am black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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