why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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