Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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A man did not like this site

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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