I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

thumb_up thumb_down -31

roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

thumb_up thumb_down -51

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops