What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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