Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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TRICERATOPS!

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Your momma's so fat, she's at risk of a number of cardio-vascular problems, including high blood pressure, leading to heart disease, stroke, type II diabetes, and a premature death. She also has an elevated risk of contracting cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops