so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

whatdumb and gay stewart price

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

how many flys in a box six --sticksack

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

Immigration Laws

Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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