What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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