How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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