I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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