whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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