Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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