you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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