What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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An anti-joke

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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