Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's better than a stick? A stone

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blind man walks into a library.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Death by kayak

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops