what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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