Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Max Head fingered himself, HAH

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

there once was a frog with no leggs

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops