What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

Whats cold and frozen? ice

What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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