Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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