What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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A man goes to the potty.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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