whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down

The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

thumb_up thumb_down

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

thumb_up thumb_down

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

thumb_up thumb_down

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down

Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops