why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You dropped something.... Yo lip

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I like the color potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops