there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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69

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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