How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +30

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops