Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969 i like potatos 696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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I asked her where you were.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops