What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops