What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Micheal Curran...that is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -27

like if your cool

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops